I think that right now many are struggling. Struggling to find themselves, struggling to figure out what’s next, where do they contribute, where does their life matter. Maybe the key is we all matter no matter how much or how little we’re doing. Every interaction we have with another human being matters. Each little encounter, no matter how small, impacts the tapestry of life. Smiling at someone walking past you. Swearing at someone walking past you. Even just ignoring someone walking past you can change everything in an instant. Either for you or for them or perhaps for both.
I know the briefest of smiles can change my day. I was driving along the highway one day. Sort of numb in my life at that moment. I noticed a man on a motorcycle just behind me and to my right. As he came up beside me he turned to me and gave me the biggest grin. He just stared at me and smiled. It lasted only moments but it felt longer than that. There was something so genuine and so pleasant in his smile that it made me smile right back and just completely lightened me. It made me laugh out loud and lifted me up in some way. It stayed with me the rest of the day and I know the smile on my face from that moment influenced all I came in contact with as well. It was like passing on joy throughout the day from one smile to the next. I’m sure that man had no idea the impact he would have on me. I still remember his face to this day and just thinking about it all brings a smile to me even now and this incident happened years ago.
So maybe I’m contributing without trying. I’m sure this man wasn’t trying. He was just being himself in a moment of his own joy on his motorcycle. He passed it along to me and I in turn to others. Perhaps that’s all we’re meant to do. Pass joy on to each other and inspire each other to more joy and more self expression.
February 18, 2009
May 13, 2008
Letting Go
Deep letting go. Sometimes it’s hard to handle.
Not because it hurts to let go, which it might,
but because we feel different afterwards.
Sometimes the difference feels like improvement. And ultimately it always is.
But sometimes the letting go leaves us separate. No longer caught up in the drama with everyone else.
I’m free of the drama for which I am forever grateful,
but where does it leave me?
How do I relate? Where do I fit in?
Do I care if I fit in?
Sometimes I suppose I do,
but often I don’t.
I’m not quite sure how to operate in the world.
It’s an awkward feeling, like a baby bird trying to fly for the very first time.
There’ll be freedom in the flying but initially it’s awkward.
It may also be a solitary journey.
I suppose it shouldn’t matter. The flying will be worth it.
Not because it hurts to let go, which it might,
but because we feel different afterwards.
Sometimes the difference feels like improvement. And ultimately it always is.
But sometimes the letting go leaves us separate. No longer caught up in the drama with everyone else.
I’m free of the drama for which I am forever grateful,
but where does it leave me?
How do I relate? Where do I fit in?
Do I care if I fit in?
Sometimes I suppose I do,
but often I don’t.
I’m not quite sure how to operate in the world.
It’s an awkward feeling, like a baby bird trying to fly for the very first time.
There’ll be freedom in the flying but initially it’s awkward.
It may also be a solitary journey.
I suppose it shouldn’t matter. The flying will be worth it.
May 12, 2008
A Moment of Presence
I was sitting at a stop light the other day and I saw a bug on my windshield. I knew the light would be a couple of minutes so I decided to practice just being in the moment and being present to what was around me. I noticed the bug and decided to just really look at it and see it without naming it or judging it. I just looked at it as an unknown creature, something I’d never seen before. Much to my surprise I found him completely fascinating. Instead of being turned off by him because he was a bug, which would be my normal M.O., I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He was about a quarter to half an inch long and beetle like in nature. As I looked closely I could see him scratching one of his legs. Then he did some break dance moves with his head, then scratched again. It was almost endearing in an odd sort of way. He made some more movements that were dance like and quite amusing. Another scratch and a little head grooming and After about a minute he finally seemed ready to go. He lifted up what looked like four wings, almost lady bug like in nature, and in what seemed like slow motion slowly lifted straight up then took off up over my car. I was mesmerized. It was almost as if his show was just for me. Now if anyone had told me I would get complete enjoyment out of watching a bug on my windshield while at a stop light I would have thought they were crazy but I have to say the experience brought me sheer joy.
It’s interesting how things seem different when we look at them with new eyes. Seeing things without labeling or naming them changes them in many ways. If we could do that more, in all aspects of our lives, life would take on new dimension and new meaning. Everything would be appreciated. It’s interesting how much we take for granted and how much detail we miss in our lives simply because we’re always thinking and always somewhere else in our heads rather than present to what’s right in front of us. It was an interesting experiment for me, one that I intend to repeat as often as possible.
It’s interesting how things seem different when we look at them with new eyes. Seeing things without labeling or naming them changes them in many ways. If we could do that more, in all aspects of our lives, life would take on new dimension and new meaning. Everything would be appreciated. It’s interesting how much we take for granted and how much detail we miss in our lives simply because we’re always thinking and always somewhere else in our heads rather than present to what’s right in front of us. It was an interesting experiment for me, one that I intend to repeat as often as possible.
October 7, 2007
Running Man
I was sitting at a WNBA game recently and suddenly it hit me. It’s the ‘Running Man’ right here and now. I’m living it, or at least coming close anyway. I felt like I was in a bad movie. Everything was loud and insane. The sign says scream so we scream. The video feed scans the audience and stops on people and tells them what to do. Most of them comply. We have plastic blow up sticks that we use to make sound instead of clapping. Loud piercing sound at that. Lights flash and music blares it’s a wild ride. I guess I spend too much time at home. Being out and about was an experience in sensory overload. It made me realize that the future I used to see in movies as a kid has finally arrived and scarily it’s not too far off from some of the things I wrote off as exaggerated sci-fi. I don’t know how many people remember the Running Man movie. It was one of Schwartznegger’s earlier ones. It was set in the future where reality TV was the thing of the day ( something back in 1987 when the film was made we really didn’t have). Men accused of crimes had to run from crazy people trying to kill them. Hence they were ‘running men’. I was so struck by how much I felt we were there in the movie’s version of the future that I went and looked up the movie on IMDB when I got home to refresh my memory of the film. This is what I found, very interesting if you ask me. I didn’t realized how close it actually was to what I felt I was experiencing. Here’s some of the synopsis.
‘In the year 2017, the world economy has collapsed. The great freedoms of the United States are no longer… and it has become a militarized police state, censoring all film, art, literature, and communications.’
(Hmmm not too far from the truth. Granted our economy hasn’t collapsed but somehow it seems that might not be that far off. President Bush has managed to help us along on this path with all the crazy spending on the war. Do you realize we are spending 12 billion dollars a month in Iraq?! Ouch. Well that’s a topic for another day. And though it may not be a militarized state many of our rights have certainly been usurped. People are taken into custody for less than valid reasons. Our phones are tapped at will and our internet and other activities are watched and listened into as a matter of ‘national security’. We’re working on that police state. Slowly but surely.)
‘The United States has sealed off it's borders…’
(Yet another familiar idea. Certainly something of an issue that is on the table now. Who do we let in? Do we let anyone in? Are our borders safe? What about that fence Bush is talking about along the Southern border? Hopefully we won’t ever get to the state of completely sealing ourselves off but it’s interesting that this is happening.)
‘In the police state America has become, criminals have a choice. They can serve their sentences in prison or they can take part in "The Running Man" a government owned violent game-show where contestants running for freedom are pursued by "Stalkers" wrestler-like bounty hunters. "The Running Man" is the top rating show on network TV.’
Ok, so at the moment we don’t have criminals in our reality TV shows but are we that far off from it? Right now we’re willing to subject ourselves without being criminals. We do it for money or for our fifteen minutes of fame. Is Fear Factor that far off from the Running Man? Or look at other shows like Survivor or the new Pirate show (which I don’t know much about but it doesn’t sound good). We put ourselves through torture on TV and the worst part is other people watch it! Craziness. I wouldn’t be surprised if by 2017, the year the movie is set in, we have shows where we watch the criminal or the accused fight for their lives on TV. If we don’t wake up and start taking a look at ourselves now, we could get there.
Growing up in the seventies and eighties I don’t think I could have imagined the world of today. Some of it perhaps, like technology and such, but the rest I don’t think so. I would have thought by now that people would have matured some and become more aware of themselves and each other. But a look at what’s on TV now shows me otherwise. We still have not come that far from the days of the Gladiators. We still need that spectator sport where we judge each other and watch each other suffer. Very strange.
‘In the year 2017, the world economy has collapsed. The great freedoms of the United States are no longer… and it has become a militarized police state, censoring all film, art, literature, and communications.’
(Hmmm not too far from the truth. Granted our economy hasn’t collapsed but somehow it seems that might not be that far off. President Bush has managed to help us along on this path with all the crazy spending on the war. Do you realize we are spending 12 billion dollars a month in Iraq?! Ouch. Well that’s a topic for another day. And though it may not be a militarized state many of our rights have certainly been usurped. People are taken into custody for less than valid reasons. Our phones are tapped at will and our internet and other activities are watched and listened into as a matter of ‘national security’. We’re working on that police state. Slowly but surely.)
‘The United States has sealed off it's borders…’
(Yet another familiar idea. Certainly something of an issue that is on the table now. Who do we let in? Do we let anyone in? Are our borders safe? What about that fence Bush is talking about along the Southern border? Hopefully we won’t ever get to the state of completely sealing ourselves off but it’s interesting that this is happening.)
‘In the police state America has become, criminals have a choice. They can serve their sentences in prison or they can take part in "The Running Man" a government owned violent game-show where contestants running for freedom are pursued by "Stalkers" wrestler-like bounty hunters. "The Running Man" is the top rating show on network TV.’
Ok, so at the moment we don’t have criminals in our reality TV shows but are we that far off from it? Right now we’re willing to subject ourselves without being criminals. We do it for money or for our fifteen minutes of fame. Is Fear Factor that far off from the Running Man? Or look at other shows like Survivor or the new Pirate show (which I don’t know much about but it doesn’t sound good). We put ourselves through torture on TV and the worst part is other people watch it! Craziness. I wouldn’t be surprised if by 2017, the year the movie is set in, we have shows where we watch the criminal or the accused fight for their lives on TV. If we don’t wake up and start taking a look at ourselves now, we could get there.
Growing up in the seventies and eighties I don’t think I could have imagined the world of today. Some of it perhaps, like technology and such, but the rest I don’t think so. I would have thought by now that people would have matured some and become more aware of themselves and each other. But a look at what’s on TV now shows me otherwise. We still have not come that far from the days of the Gladiators. We still need that spectator sport where we judge each other and watch each other suffer. Very strange.
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